Friday, October 9, 2009

It took me about three months to remember what my password was on here, but I finally remembered :-)

I really feel like I'm at a weird place in my life right now. I'm almost done with school and as I prepare to get an internship and walk across that stage with degree in hand I suddenly feel completely scared about life. I have been ready to graduate for two years, and now that it is almost here I am becoming interested in so many other fields that I would love to take courses in. I know this is probably a very common overwhelming feeling seniors get when they realize school is almost done and I have to grow up and get a big girl job and work 8-5 and start thinking about when to settle down and when to start a family....WOW that's a lot to think about! I can barely decide what I want to eat for dinner every night right now. The thought of getting married terrifies me at the moment. That's a big responsibility being a wife, one I'm not ready to tackle just yet.

People here at school have called me selfish for wanting to live out my dreams and work for a while before I get married, but I don't think it's selfish. Why would I want to be married if I felt like I had to...shouldn't a good marriage be started by both people WANTING to be married? I think marriage is pushed too hard in the South. When you get done with school people constantly ask you when are you getting married and it's expected of you here. People assume constantly just because Clay and I have been together for two years that we have our whole future planned out and we're going to get married the moment I am done with school...Well that's awesome if some people do that, but I prefer to be financially secure so I am going to go get my Masters then secure a job before the whole marriage thing.

Anyways, now that I have that marriage rant out of the way...I got a quote from a friend yesterday that blew my mind and I thought I'd share it with you. "God takes full responsibility for the life wholly devoted to Him." YEAH, I know. Think about that one for a while!

This weekend is the BCM Retreat. There is horrible weather right now, like tornadoes and hail storms. We might have to ride it out before we hit the road, cause I'm not driving a van full of college students in that kind of stuff.

Well I had a ton of things I was going to blog about today, but so many things have happened at work today and I have been writing this over a period of five hours, so I have forgotten all the wonderful things I had on my brain. Oh well

3 comments:

  1. Stick with your plans on marriage and do what is best for you!!! Take it from someone who didn't finish school because of a marriage and being pregnant... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE finish school before you do anything like that! Marriage is hard enough, you don't need the extra pressures of school (masters, etc) a new job, trying to set a routine, etc without adding that added stress in there. You and only you know what is best for you. Everyone has an opinion on how you should live your life, but NO ONE lives it but you.

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  2. Honey, even the best of marriages can have tough times. You need to know you are more than 100% sure before you enter in it. Just because you will have a cap on your head does not mean you need a ring on your hand!! :)

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  3. Can I just take credit now for raising such an awesome girl or what. I am so very proud of you, always have been, always will be!

    No seriously the credit goes to God, I have only done what He asked me to do and to Him I am thankful, cause left up to me - I would have messed up big time!! I serve an awesome God.
    Thank you for such a wonderful gift as you have given to me - my girls!
    Love your biggest and best cheerleader,
    Mom

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